幸福与成功的密码是什么？看18岁的少女网球教练、TEDX组织者如何解码
“在高中阶段，每个学生都会面临陌生的处境，经历一些起伏。如果你只是藏在心里不说，就只能把问题留给自己，而失去了从更有经验的人那里获得建议和支持的机会。” 这是Katarina Krajnovic（Kat）在菁kids2021年毕业生峰会上的一段发言。
在工作中，Kat展示出的高效和专业不亚于职场精英：她主动推动项目进展而不是仅仅完成任务，“积极管理上级”而不是一味地等待.......这些我们在工作中需要反复强调的概念，在这个年轻人身上仿佛与生俱来。
Katarina在菁kids2021毕业生峰会现场的演讲视频
演讲稿全文如下：
高中可以是一段既痛苦又快乐的时光，取决于你如何对待它。一个良好的心态可以决定你青少年时期的最后几年会怎样度过。
对于我来说，高中不仅仅是开启未来无数可能的一块敲门砖，也是一段美妙的旅程，让我无比珍视。今天我就想和大家一起分享三个要素，是它们让我的高中旅程变得难忘。
首先我们先来聊一下选课。
对于IB学生来说，选课通常是在10年级，也就是15岁左右的时候。你此时选的课程不仅将决定你未来两年要学什么，也会很大程度上影响你的大学申请。因此不用我多说，你也知道这对于一个15岁的孩子来说是多大的压力。
我很幸运，因为我从很小的时候就知道自己想要学习心理学，因此我就选了自己最感兴趣的课程，分别是心理学，生物学和数学。当我在申请大学时，特别是英国的大学，他们都要求你学过这些科目的高难度课程。所以在大学申请方面，提前规划的确帮了我很多。
然而，并不是所有人都能在很小的时候就知道自己想学什么。这就是我的第一条建议：选课时不要自作主张，但也不要让他人代劳。你应该和家人、老师一起讨论，共同决定。当然，在这个过程中肯定会充满矛盾和冲突。
我敢肯定，有的人会为了让自己的简历更好看而被迫选一些自己不感兴趣的课程。但是根据我的亲身经历，那些选了自己不喜欢的课的人，最终都会陷入动力不足的境地，心理健康也会受影响，最终导致学业的失败。
DP课程需要我们付出很多努力，哪怕是最优秀的学生，如果缺少强大的意志力也很难坚持到最后。所以，孩子的声音应该被听到，家长和导师应该给出指导，而不是强迫他们做出选择。
至于会面临的困难以及关键时刻，这是我想谈的第二个决定高中成败的因素：如何应对IB的课程要求，减少自己在高中最后两年的社交和学术压力。
我们都清楚DP课程的压力有多大，不仅是在考试期间，而是这种压力会表现在很多方面。比如你会情绪崩溃，经常感到心烦意乱，会在社交场合做出不合适的反应，体重增加，心理健康欠佳等等。尽管我们不能避免这些压力，但我们完全可以改变自己应对压力的方法。
我不会长篇大论地告诉你那些老师和家长说过的话，什么时间管理、做事有条理之类的。我只想和你分享一些我觉得对我很有帮助的做法。对我来说，家庭晚餐是让我感到幸福和成功的重要因素。你们可能觉得不可思议，因为和家人一起吃饭看起来和学业上的成功以及心理健康没什么关系，但我觉得这是我的秘密宝藏。
在高中阶段，每个学生都会面临陌生的处境，经历一些起伏。如果你只是藏在心里不说，你就只能把问题留给自己，而失去了从更有经验的人那里获得建议和支持的机会。
在我家，大家会尽量每天都一起吃晚餐，哪怕这意味着要等到晚上9点钟。我们会一起分享自己一天的经历，以及我们对自身处境的感受。在这个过程中，我不仅更加了解了我的家人，也更懂了自己。除此之外，家庭晚餐也让每个人变成了很好的倾听者，让我们学会了如何关心别人，如何合作以及管理自己的压力。它可以看做是一种疗愈方法，搭建了一个支持系统，从而让你更了解自己和你所爱的人。
我最后想谈的一个因素，也是高中阶段不可避免的，那就是不断地犯错和反思。
在生活中，我们都会有失望和后悔的时候。但很多时候我们都太执着于这些错误了。所以我决定把它的标签替换为“学习体验”。回顾过去，我很感激我犯过的每一个错误，并且从长远来看，我从错误中学到的最多。
10年级的时候，我决定加入篮球队，而训练会占据我每周12个小时的时间。尽管是第一次打篮球，但我被选入了校队。当然如果我想进低年级队也可以，但我还是为了能在更有竞争力的球队打球这个标签和这份荣誉而选择了留下。然而，整个赛季下来，我仅仅是个替补队员，也浪费了很多真正学习打球的机会，并且没有培养出对篮球的热爱。
对我来说，这是个很重要的“学习体验”。从中我意识到了标签并没有那么重要，并且我也把自己学到的东西用在了其他领域。比如在选择大学的时候，我选择了那些以心理学见长的学校，而不是综合排名靠前的学校。最终我进入了一所更适合自己的学校，一所能让我如鱼得水的学校。可以说，我之所以有今天的成就和快乐，全都是因为我10年级时犯过的一个“错误”。
这也是我强烈建议大家改变自己的思维方式的原因。犯错恰恰是一个最能够学到东西的机会，接受它，并且感激自己尝试过，努力过。有一句话说得很好：我们错过了所有没有抓住的机会，而这其中的美妙之处在于，你可以自己决定要做什么。你可以选择加入一个新的俱乐部，培养一个新的爱好，实现一次信仰的飞跃。所以接受它吧，多去试错，为自己创造这些学习的机会。
最后，我想和大家分享一个我的想法：不要再认为学校教育是“一体适用”的，你可以选择自己的兴趣、能力和热情所在。记住，唯一能阻挡你的就是放弃。所以你应该从一开始就为自己的高中生活制定一些规划，让它成为你亲手设计的一段旅程，一段你和家人朋友共同分享的旅程。希望你也可以像我一样，可以无比珍视这段旅程。
（以下是Katarina的演讲稿英文全文，请滑动查看。）
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How to support your kids through high school
High school can be the worst and best of times, and the way it turns out depends on how you approach it. Going in with the right mindset can determine what your final teenage years will look like. High school for me was not only a requirement that acted as a gateway for the future of endless opportunities, but it was a journey on its own, and one that I cherish looking back. Today, I would like to let you in on three factors that have contributed to making my educational journey a very memorable one.
Firstly, let’s look at choosing courses. In the case of IB, this happens in Grade 10, usually around the age of 15. The subjects you choose to take in high school will not only determine the content you learn in the following two years, but can have a large impact on university admissions. Needless to say, it is a considerable amount of stress for a 15 year old. I was lucky enough to know that I always wanted to study psychology from a younger age, and could therefore pick the courses that interested me most, including psychology, biology and mathematics. When I was applying for university, especially in the UK, they had requirements for taking these courses at higher level, so my planning in advance greatly helped in my admittance. However, not everyone knows what they would like to do at such an early stage. This is where my first advice comes in. Do not pick courses alone, and do not let others do so for you. It should be a collective and open discussion, ideally between yourself, family, and counsellors. This stage of the process, however, rarely goes without conflict. I am sure we all know someone who was forced to take subjects that they were not interested in because it would look “better in their CV” in the future. But from my experience, those who choose not to do what they love often end up in a downspiral of lack of motivation, mental health, and thus academic failure. The Diploma Program takes a lot of effort, and without the willpower, it is difficult to come far, even for the strongest students. Therefore, it is crucial for the voices of the students to be heard, and that parents and counsellors offer guidance instead of forceful direction. And on the topic of difficult, yet crucial moments, I would like to pass onto the second factor influencing success throughout high school. How to handle the demands of IB and reduce the social and academic stress of the final years of this journey.
As all students can attest to, DP not only brings about peaks of stress, such as during the exam period, but it is a form of ongoing stress that manifests itself in different ways. It can be breakdowns, constant agitation, inappropriate reactions in social situations, weight gain, deterioration of mental health. The list does not end there. But although this stress will be unavoidable, one can greatly impact the way in which one acts upon these demands. I will not now tell you a list of the attributes you should have and hear about from family and teachers, such as time management and organization, but will share what I believe helped me most throughout these past few years. For me, the biggest factor influencing my happiness and success were family dinners. This might come as a surprise to many, as sharing a meal with family might appear unrelated to academic success and mental health, but I would call this activity a hidden treasure. Going through high school, each student will be approached with new situations, experiences, ups and downs. By keeping these in you, not only are you faced with problems to tackle by yourself, but you miss out on advice and support from those who have decades more of experience and keep your best interests in the forefront of their minds. During my family dinners, which we tried to have daily even if it meant waiting until 9pm to eat together, we shared what we did each day and how we felt about the different situations we were in. I not only learned a lot from my family during these moments, but I also realized more about myself. By externalizing my emotions, I became more aware of them, and of the person I am. But besides this advantage, family dinners also make each person in the family a better listener, and can develop attributes such as being caring, cooperative, and learning how to manage stress. Family dinners can thus be regarded as a therapeutic treasure, which creates a support system that teaches you more about yourself and your loved ones.
The final factor I would like to discuss, which is inevitably a part of high school, is making and reacting to mistakes. As in life, there will be disappointments, situations which you regret. But often times, we are too fixated on these so called mistakes. That is why I decided to replace this label with the term learning experience. Looking back now, I am grateful for every one that I made, as in the long term, I learned most from them. For example, in Grade 10 I decided to join the basketball team in school which took a minimum of 12 hours out of each week for training. I was put in the varisty team, despite it being my first time ever playing basketball, but had the opportunity to be in junior varisty if I wanted to. I choose to stay in varsity because of the label, and the power and pride associated with being in the most competitive team. However, this not only led to a whole season of being bench for the team, but I missed out on many opportunities to learn how to play the game, and develop a passion for it. This was a big “learning opportunity” for me. I realized the worthlessness of labels, and I transferred this realization to other situations. For instance, when choosing which university I wanted to go to, I focused on those that would be best for psychology, and not just those which are ranked number one overall. As a result, I will now be attending a university that fits me as a person, one in which I have the opportunity to thrive in. Thus, my “mistake” in Grade 10 has greatly contributed to my success and happiness today. That is why I strongly suggest that you take on this mindset with me. Mistakes can be some of the most impactful learning opportunities we have, so celebrate them, and thank yourselves for trying, for giving it a go. In the end, as the saying goes, we miss all of the chances we do not take. And the beauty in this, is that you can be the decider of which initiatives you take on. You have the power to choose to try a new club, to take on a new hobby, to take that leap of faith. So take it. Make mistakes. Create those learning opportunities for yourself.
And I would now like to conclude with a final thought. And that is to move away from the “one size fits all” solution to your schooling. You have the ability to cater it to your own interests, abilities, and passions. And remember that the only thing that can stop you is giving up. So approach high school in a strategic way from the start, and make it a journey that you design, and one which you share with your family and friends. Make it a journey that you will in the way, cherish, the way that I cherish mine.
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